Friday, January 18, 2013 - An Attitude of Gratitude

Well, if I didn't feel a little stress already, arriving at the airport was interesting. Having packed concisely in two checked bags, a carry-on and a backpack, I was informed at check-in that my carry-on was overweight, while my checked bags were underweight. The seemingly-annoyed agent at the desk told me I should pack some of the carry-on items into my checked bags, resulting in me having all of my bags open on the floor of the terminal and moving things around. ::sigh::  End result: one nearly-empty carry-on left with the hubby; it was heavy even empty! Traveling lighter is sure to be better, though.

I wanted to post this prior to leaving for China, but as life would have it, I'm writing it from 31,000 feet on Air China Flight 982 as we jet our way up and over North America toward Beijing.

I have a quick connection there to my flight to Harbin, where the prayers of many will be answered in a few short days. In the craziness of prepping for the trip, I've been reflecting on all the wonderful people who blessed us in one way or another to help bring our son Wei home; so many special folks who have touched our hearts deeply:
 - A young woman who, as an extension of her Bat Mitzvah project, collected cans and bottles, cashing them in for nickles to gift to us;

 

- A gentleman, with whom I share god-parenting honors, who heard we were adopting and sent a generous gift to help us;
- Friends who donated beautiful handmade gifts and baskets full of items for us to raffle off;

 

- Others who laughed with us at our comedy night fundraiser and bought raffle tickets;
- Teachers from my daughters' schools who sent us love-gifts or came to our pancake breakfast;

- Our parents, family and friends old and new who sent us checks to build up "The Wei Fund";
- Friends and strangers across the country who bought our fundraiser coupon books;

- Friends who helped with the construction needed to prepare Wei's room;
- Friends new and old who donated items to our garage sale fundraiser, and then came and bought items too;
- A friend who gave us TONS of beautiful clothes, passed down from her own sons;

- Friends and strangers who purchased jewelry from me through my Premier Designs business to support our adoption;
- Other long-time friends who walked our documents through the State Department and the Chinese Embassy in Washington DC and did not charge us for their services as a "baby shower" gift;

The Assistant Stork

- My very special FCCLI a-China & a-Vietnam Mom-friends who have been so incredibly supportive through this long journey in so very many ways;
- My "sister-of-the-heart" who ran home today to get her photo card-reader drive when I couldn't find the cable for my camera;
- My wonderful kids who, though apprehensive at first, have come to embrace their "didi" (little brother) and now look forward to his arrival;

- My incredible, awesome husband who has been my anchor, especially these past few weeks when I started to panic in my perfectionism that everything wasn't done/ready/packed;
- My friends, my family, all those who prayed for us - every word uttered on our behalf to Heaven was felt;

- And most of all to my ever-loving, faithful, awesome Lord God Almighty! He was always in control. He knew the exact moment when our family would be ready for a new member, and that in doing so, two precious little boys who spent the first 5 years of their lives together then were separated by two years, 7000 miles, and billions of people, would be together once again and grow up together. Only God!

If you recognize yourself here - Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!! Eric and I are grateful for you, your love and friendship, and we appreciate you and all you have done to help get us here. We are blessed to have you in our lives and are proud have you share in the joy of welcoming Wei home!

Next stop - Beijing and then....HARBIN!!

A Few Photos - No Time to Blog

Sorry to not be able to post about this trip - my boy keeps my very busy and when we have down time, he wants to use Mom's laptop to watch videos - there's no Chinese Nick Jr. here in Guangzhou like there was in Harbin; that kept Wang Wei occupied a bit at least. We are having a great time here in Guangzho, but today I will post a few photos of my boy in Harbin last week.

Wang Wei and his Teddy Bear from Frances and Phoebe.

 

Look Mama, I have a new friend!

 

My own cute little penquin at the Harbin Polarland.

 

Our first day of snow in Harbin, we headed to the Siberian Tiger Park.

 

Cutest little tiger in the whole world!!

 

It may take until I get home, but I will blog the entire trip. It has been wonderful, and I truly want to share it with you! Thanks for all the love and prayers!

Touch Down in Guangzhou!!

Ah, China!! You never know when or if something will work out like you planned. Although I expected to be able to access the internet in Harbin, it was only available in the lobby of the hotel. And given that I received a VERY active 7-1/2 year old boy on Monday, that was NOT going to work out.  So, I'm sorry, dear readers, to keep you on the hook for the week, wondering what was going on. All is well and, best of all, I have our awesome, beautiful, smart-as-a-whip son!! Oh my goodness, is Wang Wei incredible!! He handled the long day of travel today from Harbin to Guangzhou like a trooper! His first airplane ride was super fun, and he was totally in awe of the whole experience. I will write more about that going forward; since I couldn't post online, I have a week's worth of handwritten & recorded posts and some photos to get up. But I wanted to touch base and let you know that we are both doing great, and doing great together!!  Thanks for all the love, prayers and good thoughts and wishes. More to the story to come tomorrow - it's nearly 2 am and I must get to bed - Wang Wei has his Consulate physical exam in the morning. But first, a photo of me and Wang Wei about an hour after we met, and the second of him about 2 hours later back at our hotel room. Don't you just want to kiss those cheeks?!? So glad I get to!! More tomorrow!!

Gotcha Day!! January 21, 2013, Harbin, Heilongjiang, China

Our sweet boy, getting his coloring skills sharpened.

The Best Laid Plans...

When we started this journey to add a little boy to our family, Wei was 6 years old. We received pre-approval from the China Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption on November 1, 2011, and I had every intention on plowing through the homestudy and paper-chase process. I had already ordered our vital records (birth and marriage certificates) from New York State and based on the projections of when we expected to have our dossier in China, I thought for sure that we’d be traveling to bring Wei home in the summer of 2012. We told everyone that we hoped to be in China by the summer, that we were hoping to take our three daughters with us, and that we'd be home in plenty of time to get Wei settled before school started in September. As the months pressed on, our family and friends were curious - How was it going? (slowly) When would we travel? (hopefully over the summer) Does he know about us? (we don't know)

And life took over.

November to February is probably the busiest time of the year for our family. Holidays, school breaks, both of my husband’s businesses running at 150%, and me working full time in addition to trying to keep up home and hearth…it seemed like there wasn’t a spare moment for anything dossier related for the next 3 months after getting pre-approved. And I was frustrated! I mean, from the moment we decided “Go!”, I put together the mini-dossier of pre-approval documents in 2 days! And it was a TON of information to gather. What happened?  After all, this is what I did for a living for nearly 10 years - I helped other families with their dossier preparation. And as each question came from our excited friends and family, I felt worse.

The holidays flew by and 2011 became 2012. News soon followed that two dear friends of mine, who had adopted from China in the past two years, had each found a beautiful waiting child and their dossiers were almost ready to go to China. I was thrilled for them and for their new children who were coming into wonderful, loving families, but part of me felt like I had let my son down. These gals found their children after me! They hustled through their paperchase and were done faster than I had ever seen! And, I'll admit it, I was a little jealous...

But God spoke to my heart. He said that their story was not our story, that His timing is perfect and He was never late.

'For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.' - Habakkuk 2:3

He said to trust Him and believe that I would be heading to China at the exact moment that I was supposed to be there.

'For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' - Jeremiah 29:11

We plugged on and our dossier finally went to China in the beginning of August, and we started the alphabet soup that is adoption from China. First there was...
 

Dossier to China

 followed by...

Log-in Date

 

And then we waited...and waited...and waited until finally, on October 17th, day 63 since our dossier was logged in at the China Center for Chilren's Welfare and Adoption (CCCWA), we received it...
 

The coveted Letter of Approval!! 

China had accepted our dossier and was referring Wang Wei to be adopted into our family! We were thrilled!  The next letters in the alphabet soup steps in the process were sure to fly by...first we had to submit our I800 form for Wei's immigration, then we heard from...
 

The NVC (National Visa Center)

 

that they approved our I800. We lost a little time with the next step due to a miscommunication within our agency, but before we knew it...
 

 
...which meant the US government was telling the Chinese government that we were good to go with Wei's immigration. Then, 2 weeks later, we finally had...
 

 
On December 29, we received news that our TA (travel approval) had come through. The last piece, our CA or Consulate Appointment, had to be scheduled. And last night, at 10:24, that final piece arrived!!
 

 
Today, I spent the last day of 2012 planning my trip to bring Wei home. We're no longer all going to China - unexpected financial issues over the last year and the cost of airline tickets made it clear to us that our needs must outweigh our wants. My husband will remain home with our daughters while I travel to the frozen tundra of Harbin, where it is currently -14^°F at 11am with a high of -7^°F for the day. Brrrrrrrrr!! It's going to be quite a different trip than I thought it would be when we expected to travel in the summer, but Wei and I will have the opportunity to see the incredible Harbin Ice and Snow Festival if we decide to face the freeze! 

When the plans were all made and the reservations booked, I thought back to that time nearly ten years ago when I first heard a calling in my heart of an unknown little boy who would someday be my son, now OUR son. God who is faithful brought that promise to fruition - in His time, His PERFECT time.

That time will be on January 21, 2013, when Wang Wei will become Robert John Wei Greenberg. No longer an orphan, a part of our family...FOREVER.



 

Only God Knows!

While I was waiting to adopt my youngest daughter Phoebe in 2003, I felt God speak to my heart about another child yet to be revealed - a son with special needs who would one day join my family.

Right after my first daughter Frances and I brought home my newest little girl, I met a wonderful man with 2 children of his own. We fell in love, got married, and blended two families. We spent the next few years creating a new normal as a family of six. Then, nearly 6 years ago, China announced major changes in their international adoption program. The news dashed the dreams of many people, including me. Reflecting on the emmense effect of these changes on my hopes for adding to our family, I wrote these words in a blog entry:
"As a single parent a few years back, my intention was to adopt a third child, a waiting child, perhaps an older child (ages 5-13). When we made the decision to marry, my husband and I discussed this issue. He felt that 4 children (my 2, his 2) was enough for us to handle but would be open to discussing the possibility of adding another child via adoption from China when and if the right situation presented itself. I held onto this hope of adding to my family again. Now I have to let that dream go. Don't get me wrong - I know I am VERY blessed with the wonderful children I have, and I am grateful to God that I have these children in my life and have been honored to be their mother. But I thought there was one more child from China to come home with us...
Guess I was wrong."

But God wouldn't allow that dream of adding one more child to our family to leave my heart. I felt that tug for 6 years, and everytime I tried to let it go, it got stronger.

"Don't give up. There's a son waiting for you in China."

As time went on, I learned that China would issue waivers in certain situations, one of which was the age of the parent. This was the stumbling block for us - my husband Eric had "aged out" of the program, so to speak. But now there was some hope that China could issue a waiver. We considered a few waiting children over the years (all boys), but each time we'd hit a wall for one reason or another and could not continue with the adoption. We stopped discussing adding to our family, but I kept hearing that voice.

"Don't give up. There's a son waiting for you in China."

Then, on October 13, 2011, I saw this picture...

It was part of an email I had received from a wonderful organization that advocates for waiting children in China, some of whom have special needs.  They described this cutie as,

   "Wang Wei... an adorable 6 year old boy full of fun and personality... a charming, smart and sweet boy...very polite and kindhearted...ready for a loving family. This little boy is so special!" 

His special need was brachial plexus injury, a very manageable condition. I got excited! This sweet little boy...could he be the son that my heart longed for? I immediately contacted the organization to get more information. They sent me his file via email the following morning. Not only did it have lots of information about Wang Wei, it had this:

His photo said to me, "Here I am! I'm happy and fun and waiting for you to come and get me, Mama!" Tears rolled down my cheeks as I reviewed his file and looked at the other photos in it, including a picture of a tiny baby, about 6 months old, with big dark eyes and a sweet smile.

My heart knew. This was our son!!

I forwarded the file to my husband in an email:

"I still feel it heavy on my heart that God means for us to have a son. As much as I try to put it aside, it keeps coming back again and again. When you get a chance, take a look at this cute little guy and let's talk."

That evening, I met a group of my friends for dinner - all moms with children from China. We started chatting about children who we had seen on the waiting child lists who touched us. I shared that I had found the cutest little guy the day before and that I had forwarded information to Eric for consideration. My friend Lauren (who is Phoebe's Godmother) was sitting across from me. She and her husband had adopted a little boy, "L", from China the previous December. I said to her, "He's from "L's" province, Heilongjiang." She asked his name. When I said, "Wang Wei" she looked shocked. Then she asked what orphanage he was in. I told her. She said, "Teresa, that's "L's" little friend from the orphanage." I was speechless! I showed her Wang Wei's photo and she said she was pretty sure that he was the child with her son in photos that the orphanage had given her. She asked me to email her the photos I had so she could show "L". The next morning, Lauren showed him Wang Wei's photo and he stared at it. When she asked him who the little boy in the photo was, he answered, "Wang Wei!!" and told her how he'd slept in the bed next to him and how they played together and were best friends. Since coming to America, Lauren's son had prayed every day for his friend to have a family, preferably HIS family so they would be brothers. She had heard these prayers for months - and now they were being answered.

Eric and I spent the next days praying, talking and praying some more. We agreed that God meant for us to adopt Wang Wei - China just had to issue us a waiver and if they said yes, we were going forward. We sent in our application to the adoption agency and prepared the "mini-dossier" required for getting pre-approved for the adoption. We were overjoyed on November 1, 2011 when China said, "Yes!" and we received pre-approval to adopt our son. Our dossier took longer to complete than we originally hoped, but it finally went to China (DTC) on August 7, 2012 and was logged into the China Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption for translation and review on August 13 (LID).

The Alphabet Soup of Chinese Adoption:
DTC-LID-LOA-I800-ART5-TA-CA-TRAVEL

We're now waiting for the next step - receiving our Letter of Approval (LOA) or Letter Seeking Confirmation of Adoption. This will be the formal "referral" of Wang Wei to us for adoption. Right now, this step is taking anywhere from 41 to 60+ days after LID. I sure hope it's the former - Wei has waited long enough for his family, and we want him HOME!!

"Don't give up. There's a son waiting for you in China."

I guess God knew all along!

When Love Takes You In...
I discovered this video tonight on an e-friend's adoption blog. I really liked it, so I thought I'd post it here. It brings to light how we are called to care for the orphans of the world, and it made me realize how blessed I am in my ministry. I truly love what I do, and I hope that one day I will again receive the gift of adopting a child.

When love takes you in, everything changes...

Is your heart open to the miracle of adoption?

Worlds On Fire

Lately I am hearing a new voice calling to me...well, not a new voice, but one that is getting stronger and stronger. It started with an Oprah episode where Bill Clinton talking about his new book "Giving...How Each of Us Can Change the World". President Clinton spoke about how private citizens and corporations - Non-Government Organizations (NGO's) - were making a difference around the world. He highlighted many stories about people who saw a need and did what they could to help, people like Oprah and her leadership school for girls in South Africa, the Bush-Clinton Katrina Fund, Habitat for Humanity and others.

Later that same week, I caught various news program shorts that highlighted projects created by private citizens to help others:
Peace Players International, an organization whose mission is to use the game of basketball to unite and educate young people in divided communities (this short highlighted their program in Northern Ireland, but they have programs in Africa, the Middle East, and soon in New Orleans).

Helping Hand: Book Drive For Thai Children, started by a local boy from Long Island - nineteen year-old Andrew Titley, with the help of his seventeen year-old brother Trevor, collect book donations for underprivileged children, most of whom are being raised by their grandparents while their parents work in Bangkok.

Operation Smile, an organization dear to my heart because of my work with families who adopt cleft-affected children in China...

This morning I spoke to my sister who is a pilot with a corporate jet firm. She told me that today, she was flying U2's Bono from one northeastern US city to another. BONO!! This man has done so much to help the people of Africa on many levels that he was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. A hero for today if there ever was one!

Then this afternoon, while looking for a particular Sarah Mclachlan video on You Tube, I found another video of hers that I haven't seen before, though I love the song. It was a belly punch. It showed how what seems to us as a little bit can go so far to help others around the world.


Here's the lyrics and a link to Sarah's website about the video and how the money saved on production was used to help people around the world:

World On Fire

Hearts are worn in these dark ages
You're not alone in this stories pages
The light has fallen amongst the living and the dying
And I'll try to hold it in
Yeah I'll try to hold it in

Chorus
The worlds on fire, it's more then I can handle
I'll tap into the water, try and bring my share
Try to bring more, more then I can handle
Bring it to the table
Bring what I am able

I watch the heavens but I find no calling
Something I can do to change what's coming
Stay close to me while the sky is falling
I don't wanna be left alone don't wanna be alone

Chorus
The worlds on fire, it's more then I can handle
I'll tap into the water, try and bring my share
Try to bring more, more then I can handle
Bring it to the table
Bring what I am able

Hearts break, hearts mend, love still hurts
Visions clash, planes crash, still theres talk of
saving souls' still the cold's closing in on us

We part the veil on our killer sun
Stray from the straight line on this short run
The more we take the less we become
The fortune of one man means less for some

Chorus
The worlds on fire, it's more then I can handle
I'll tap into the water, try and bring my share
Try to bring more, more then I can handle
Bring it to the table
Bring what I am able


One of my favorite quotes comes from Mohandas Gandhi:
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

How can I change the world? For the last 8 years, my mission has been to help the orphaned children in China, but I feel like there's more to be done...I feel there's more...I am prayerfully trying to find what it is...

Because of technology, the world is getting smaller and smaller. The needs of the poor and empoverished are everywhere, and we can see them easier than ever. The majority of us in the United States are SO blessed. Our family had a challenging year financially but we never had to sleep outdoors...we never missed a meal because there was no food...our children had clean clothes and shoes, and soft beds to sleep in at night...medical care when they needed it...yes, we have been blessed. We're not totally in the clear yet but we can see the light, and that light has given us the opportunity and the responsibility to help others. Luke 12:48 says,"...to whom much is given, much will be required..." I believe those words and am looking for the program or programs where our family can change the world, whether it be in the local or global community in which we live.

How about you?

"To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world."
- Anonymous