The Best Laid Plans...

When we started this journey to add a little boy to our family, Wei was 6 years old. We received pre-approval from the China Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption on November 1, 2011, and I had every intention on plowing through the homestudy and paper-chase process. I had already ordered our vital records (birth and marriage certificates) from New York State and based on the projections of when we expected to have our dossier in China, I thought for sure that we’d be traveling to bring Wei home in the summer of 2012. We told everyone that we hoped to be in China by the summer, that we were hoping to take our three daughters with us, and that we'd be home in plenty of time to get Wei settled before school started in September. As the months pressed on, our family and friends were curious - How was it going? (slowly) When would we travel? (hopefully over the summer) Does he know about us? (we don't know)

And life took over.

November to February is probably the busiest time of the year for our family. Holidays, school breaks, both of my husband’s businesses running at 150%, and me working full time in addition to trying to keep up home and hearth…it seemed like there wasn’t a spare moment for anything dossier related for the next 3 months after getting pre-approved. And I was frustrated! I mean, from the moment we decided “Go!”, I put together the mini-dossier of pre-approval documents in 2 days! And it was a TON of information to gather. What happened?  After all, this is what I did for a living for nearly 10 years - I helped other families with their dossier preparation. And as each question came from our excited friends and family, I felt worse.

The holidays flew by and 2011 became 2012. News soon followed that two dear friends of mine, who had adopted from China in the past two years, had each found a beautiful waiting child and their dossiers were almost ready to go to China. I was thrilled for them and for their new children who were coming into wonderful, loving families, but part of me felt like I had let my son down. These gals found their children after me! They hustled through their paperchase and were done faster than I had ever seen! And, I'll admit it, I was a little jealous...

But God spoke to my heart. He said that their story was not our story, that His timing is perfect and He was never late.

'For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.' - Habakkuk 2:3

He said to trust Him and believe that I would be heading to China at the exact moment that I was supposed to be there.

'For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' - Jeremiah 29:11

We plugged on and our dossier finally went to China in the beginning of August, and we started the alphabet soup that is adoption from China. First there was...
 

Dossier to China

 followed by...

Log-in Date

 

And then we waited...and waited...and waited until finally, on October 17th, day 63 since our dossier was logged in at the China Center for Chilren's Welfare and Adoption (CCCWA), we received it...
 

The coveted Letter of Approval!! 

China had accepted our dossier and was referring Wang Wei to be adopted into our family! We were thrilled!  The next letters in the alphabet soup steps in the process were sure to fly by...first we had to submit our I800 form for Wei's immigration, then we heard from...
 

The NVC (National Visa Center)

 

that they approved our I800. We lost a little time with the next step due to a miscommunication within our agency, but before we knew it...
 

 
...which meant the US government was telling the Chinese government that we were good to go with Wei's immigration. Then, 2 weeks later, we finally had...
 

 
On December 29, we received news that our TA (travel approval) had come through. The last piece, our CA or Consulate Appointment, had to be scheduled. And last night, at 10:24, that final piece arrived!!
 

 
Today, I spent the last day of 2012 planning my trip to bring Wei home. We're no longer all going to China - unexpected financial issues over the last year and the cost of airline tickets made it clear to us that our needs must outweigh our wants. My husband will remain home with our daughters while I travel to the frozen tundra of Harbin, where it is currently -14^°F at 11am with a high of -7^°F for the day. Brrrrrrrrr!! It's going to be quite a different trip than I thought it would be when we expected to travel in the summer, but Wei and I will have the opportunity to see the incredible Harbin Ice and Snow Festival if we decide to face the freeze! 

When the plans were all made and the reservations booked, I thought back to that time nearly ten years ago when I first heard a calling in my heart of an unknown little boy who would someday be my son, now OUR son. God who is faithful brought that promise to fruition - in His time, His PERFECT time.

That time will be on January 21, 2013, when Wang Wei will become Robert John Wei Greenberg. No longer an orphan, a part of our family...FOREVER.



 

Only God Knows!

While I was waiting to adopt my youngest daughter Phoebe in 2003, I felt God speak to my heart about another child yet to be revealed - a son with special needs who would one day join my family.

Right after my first daughter Frances and I brought home my newest little girl, I met a wonderful man with 2 children of his own. We fell in love, got married, and blended two families. We spent the next few years creating a new normal as a family of six. Then, nearly 6 years ago, China announced major changes in their international adoption program. The news dashed the dreams of many people, including me. Reflecting on the emmense effect of these changes on my hopes for adding to our family, I wrote these words in a blog entry:
"As a single parent a few years back, my intention was to adopt a third child, a waiting child, perhaps an older child (ages 5-13). When we made the decision to marry, my husband and I discussed this issue. He felt that 4 children (my 2, his 2) was enough for us to handle but would be open to discussing the possibility of adding another child via adoption from China when and if the right situation presented itself. I held onto this hope of adding to my family again. Now I have to let that dream go. Don't get me wrong - I know I am VERY blessed with the wonderful children I have, and I am grateful to God that I have these children in my life and have been honored to be their mother. But I thought there was one more child from China to come home with us...
Guess I was wrong."

But God wouldn't allow that dream of adding one more child to our family to leave my heart. I felt that tug for 6 years, and everytime I tried to let it go, it got stronger.

"Don't give up. There's a son waiting for you in China."

As time went on, I learned that China would issue waivers in certain situations, one of which was the age of the parent. This was the stumbling block for us - my husband Eric had "aged out" of the program, so to speak. But now there was some hope that China could issue a waiver. We considered a few waiting children over the years (all boys), but each time we'd hit a wall for one reason or another and could not continue with the adoption. We stopped discussing adding to our family, but I kept hearing that voice.

"Don't give up. There's a son waiting for you in China."

Then, on October 13, 2011, I saw this picture...

It was part of an email I had received from a wonderful organization that advocates for waiting children in China, some of whom have special needs.  They described this cutie as,

   "Wang Wei... an adorable 6 year old boy full of fun and personality... a charming, smart and sweet boy...very polite and kindhearted...ready for a loving family. This little boy is so special!" 

His special need was brachial plexus injury, a very manageable condition. I got excited! This sweet little boy...could he be the son that my heart longed for? I immediately contacted the organization to get more information. They sent me his file via email the following morning. Not only did it have lots of information about Wang Wei, it had this:

His photo said to me, "Here I am! I'm happy and fun and waiting for you to come and get me, Mama!" Tears rolled down my cheeks as I reviewed his file and looked at the other photos in it, including a picture of a tiny baby, about 6 months old, with big dark eyes and a sweet smile.

My heart knew. This was our son!!

I forwarded the file to my husband in an email:

"I still feel it heavy on my heart that God means for us to have a son. As much as I try to put it aside, it keeps coming back again and again. When you get a chance, take a look at this cute little guy and let's talk."

That evening, I met a group of my friends for dinner - all moms with children from China. We started chatting about children who we had seen on the waiting child lists who touched us. I shared that I had found the cutest little guy the day before and that I had forwarded information to Eric for consideration. My friend Lauren (who is Phoebe's Godmother) was sitting across from me. She and her husband had adopted a little boy, "L", from China the previous December. I said to her, "He's from "L's" province, Heilongjiang." She asked his name. When I said, "Wang Wei" she looked shocked. Then she asked what orphanage he was in. I told her. She said, "Teresa, that's "L's" little friend from the orphanage." I was speechless! I showed her Wang Wei's photo and she said she was pretty sure that he was the child with her son in photos that the orphanage had given her. She asked me to email her the photos I had so she could show "L". The next morning, Lauren showed him Wang Wei's photo and he stared at it. When she asked him who the little boy in the photo was, he answered, "Wang Wei!!" and told her how he'd slept in the bed next to him and how they played together and were best friends. Since coming to America, Lauren's son had prayed every day for his friend to have a family, preferably HIS family so they would be brothers. She had heard these prayers for months - and now they were being answered.

Eric and I spent the next days praying, talking and praying some more. We agreed that God meant for us to adopt Wang Wei - China just had to issue us a waiver and if they said yes, we were going forward. We sent in our application to the adoption agency and prepared the "mini-dossier" required for getting pre-approved for the adoption. We were overjoyed on November 1, 2011 when China said, "Yes!" and we received pre-approval to adopt our son. Our dossier took longer to complete than we originally hoped, but it finally went to China (DTC) on August 7, 2012 and was logged into the China Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption for translation and review on August 13 (LID).

The Alphabet Soup of Chinese Adoption:
DTC-LID-LOA-I800-ART5-TA-CA-TRAVEL

We're now waiting for the next step - receiving our Letter of Approval (LOA) or Letter Seeking Confirmation of Adoption. This will be the formal "referral" of Wang Wei to us for adoption. Right now, this step is taking anywhere from 41 to 60+ days after LID. I sure hope it's the former - Wei has waited long enough for his family, and we want him HOME!!

"Don't give up. There's a son waiting for you in China."

I guess God knew all along!